Posts Tagged ‘moving out’

Six Steps to Survive the Empty Nest Syndrome

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Having children is wonderful and frightening all at the same time. Suddenly, we are responsible for these helpless little human beings, our sons and daughters. Our mothering kicks in and we nurture, teach, care for, and protect our children the best we can.

We enjoy all of the moments that mothers get to spend with their kids, and there are scary moments that we mothers have to deal with. First, our little babies are heading off to Kindergarten on a bus they are not familiar with going to school without our supervision. We have to put the trust into the teachers and the school system. As a mother it can be exciting and scary to send your baby off to school for the first time.

Each year they grow and learn as we sit in amazement at how this is happening right in front of our eyes! Then the time comes for them to leave home entirely to live on their own and go off to college. This experience is a lot different than sending your baby to Kindergarten. Your baby is now an adult and will be living in another place. Being home without your child there with you can be scary and worrisome. While you will still need to be a crucial part of your adult child”s life, you may start to feel depressed and lonely. This is normal, but you do have a life to live as well. You can use the following steps to help you prepare for an empty nest or deal with an empty nest.

6 Steps To Survive The Empty Nest Syndrome

1. Stay Busy: If you seem to have a lot of spare time now you can go out and do something for yourself. You could volunteer, take some classes, start a new hobby, and anything else that can help fill the gaps in your spare time.

2. Go Away: Take a vacation, and it does not have to be an airplane ride away. Take your spouse (or go it alone) to a nice, relaxing place. This will be the beginning of another stage in your relationship, so start it off right with a romantic get away! If you aren’t in a relationship, take some buddies with you and have a great time.

3. Empty Space: You now have some more room in your home with your teen away. Although you may not feel like using it, you can. You aren’t intruding on their space, because it isn’t theirs anymore. It is yours. Even before they move out you can start to make plans for what you will do with their room. Add some new paint, clean it up, decorate, and make it your own. If you procrastinate on this you will be keeping yourself in the empty nest syndrome instead of moving out of it.

4. You Are Still Needed: Just because your child is not living with you anymore, does not mean they don”t need you anymore. They will always need you! Create some care packages for him or her to send. It will be appreciated, and you just might have fun doing it.

5. You Did Good:
We all know that being a mother is a lifetime name and responsibility. However, during this phase you need to pat yourself on the back for raising a smart, independent young man or lady. You did a good job, and you deserve to feel proud of that.

6. Support Is Needed:
You need support during this time. This is a life change for you. No one expects it to be easy, and it certainly isn’t. However, you can get through it with the help of your family and friends.

Linda Allen is the co-founder of GirlfriendsCafe.com, a free social network for women throughout the United States and Canada.For further information on GirlfriendsCafe, please visit GirlfriendsCafe.com

Source: Six Steps to Survive the Empty Nest Syndrome

7 Things You MUST Ask Your Kids Before They Leave for College

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

The following is a guest post from Learning Is Funny by Vanessa Van Petten, teen author of You’re Grounded! She runs the parenting blog RadicalParenting.com, which is written with teens from the kid’s perspective.

“I am free, I am free, I am free”

I have heard both parents and teens chant this as they pack up the minivan and leave for college.

Yet, parents often watch their kids leave, with tears in their eyes and forget to cover some essential pre-freshman topics.

1) Money

Your child will most likely call you in the first six months asking for more money.  Often times, kids leave for college without any idea or guidelines about how much money they should be spending and what happens if they need to be bailed out.

Essential Talking points:

“We are giving you ______ per month.”
“You can use our credit card for  everything except ____, ____, _____.  These are things you need to pay for on your own either with your savings or from a job.”
“You _______ have your own credit card.”
“If you are in an emergency and need more money, we will loan/give/not give it to you.”

2) Contact

Many parents have an expectation in their mind that they will talk to their child every few days.  Many teens have the expectation in their mind that they will talk to their parent every few weeks.  Then, both go off to college and both get annoyed with the other for calling too little or too much.

Essential Talking points:

“I would like to talk to you ____per week/month.”
“I must talk to you at the very minimum _____ per week/month.”
“Lets make a regular check-in time of ________(Sunday afternoon at 3pm is usually good)”
“If I do not hear from you, I am warning you now, I will call your resident dorm director.”

To read the last 5 things you MUST ask your kids before they leave for college click HERE.

What Should You Do After High School?

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

Graduating from high school is the end of an era. Gone are the days of carefree learning and socializing with friends. Now you need to decide what you are going to do with the rest of your life and that is no small decision to make. While lots of teens see high school as a chore, something to get through and leave behind, the reality is that high school is the last frontier to cross before the responsibility of adulthood takes center stage. Sure studying is work and school isn’t always fun and games but guess what? After high school is over you will come to appreciate it for the relatively carefree time of life that it is. It may sound cliché but once you graduate high school real life begins and how that life plays out is shaped by what you decide to do after high school.

Read the rest of the article from About.com here.

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